Obsidian mirrors, bone armor, stone women, and oceans of moss water. Would that get you to read my book? I feel a thrill just writing those words, but then again, I understand the fullness of their meaning. I know how each one of them fits into the scenes and themes of Surrealist, my current project.
It is fascinating to me that I live in a world that no one else sees. We all have our own internal world, but the writer’s mind is imaginative to the point of being scary. It is beautiful too. Not only is my perception of the world different, as each human’s is, but I have other worlds that I can walk around and create in my mind’s eye.
Progress
Progress has been slow this month, but that is okay. I am playing with Surrealist and I am enjoying the process. I focus so much on word count that sometimes I lose sight of the love of writing in exchange for productivity. Sometimes it is good to step back a little, but with anything, balance is key.
For a drafting month, it was low on word count, perhaps the lowest drafting month since starting writing about five years ago. This comes with the territory of leveling up as a writer, but I’ve also had a lot of other things on my plate and been very busy at work, and need some time to decompress. Normally, writing is my decompression time. However, this book takes a lot of mental energy, which I’ve been a little short on. So I have to adjust my expectations. I am unable to push on this project.
Likely even when I finish this blog, I will still be a little short of 500 words per day unless I am able to get some words done of Surrealist this evening (I was not), but as it nears 8 pm, that becomes less and less likely as my to-do list drags on. There were quite a few days that I didn’t get to write at all, which lowered my average, but I do not regret taking those days off.
It is a strange thing to care so much about the project I am working on (Surrealist) and yet yearn to work on other projects instead. If the world were fair, I’d get to write all my ideas right now, but as it is, writing seven books at once isn’t quite feasible.
I must content myself to play in the world of Surrealist and have as much fun as I possibly can. It’s a weird project and feels like unfiltered me. Which you might think would come easily, but somehow it does not.
What I’m learning
Inspiration can come from weird places, like an email sent to me a few weeks ago. It was a rejection, the best one I’ve ever gotten. Just as my drive for Surrealist was starting to wane, I received a rejection that read to me as an invitation from someone I think I would work really well with and who is more likely than most humans to love Surrealist as much as I do.
I doubt the rejection meant much to them, but it means so much to me. I hold it in the back of my mind as I write, and it is the little nudge that keeps me at it when things are hard. Writing is often a diligent pursuit and not just one of fun and fancy. I believe any inspiration should be capitalized upon and used to its full potential.
Leisure
I went on a trip to the Philly Ren Faire with a friend last weekend, and it was a nice reprieve from all my work, but it left me exhausted as it was a long drive and, though fun, an exhausting and eventful day. I bought my first Dungeons and Dragons dice, some knives, and other trinkets and tea. All of the spoils are extraordinarily special, and I enjoyed the various performances we attended.
As for shows, I started rewatching Bones and Reacher, and then there is the ever-present Pride and Prejudice. I go back and forth between the BBC version and the Keira Knightley version. My brother and I watched The Accountant 2, which was a very good movie, and it got me interested in going back and rewatching Daredevil so that I can then watch The Punisher, as I find I really like Jon Bernthal. I also watched his Real Ones podcast with Deborah Ann Woll, who is also in Daredevil, and found it very insightful and interesting.
Looking Forward
Surrealist
I plan to keep going with Surrealist at whatever pace it allows me to take. Ideally, I would draft more than 1k words a day. However, it is alright if that number is closer to 500. I hope to get joy out of this project. I know it will need a lot of work in the second draft, as I’m allowing myself to be more playful and do what I want. Most of my projects already need a lot of revisions, so I don’t know where this one will fall in its second draft, but I should focus on the first draft for now.
I would love to start submitting Surrealist to my writing group by the end of June at the latest. In order to submit to them, I need to be significantly ahead so they do not affect the playfulness of my writing as I do it. I’ve had issues in the past of struggling to write after getting critique that is too close to what I’m writing in the moment. I’m about 12k words into the draft, and once I get to 30k- 40k words done, I can start submitting it.
Project B
I am looking at mid-month for my revision of this project. My goal is for a one-week revision. However, it may take two, depending on how busy I am with other projects at the time.
Project C
This project is still a little way off, but this is where my eyes turn after Surrealist is done. I will likely start this project in September, though I may start brainstorming this one soon.
I always have to fight off the urge to work on the next project. Each one has their own turn, but they jockey for position, trying to bully me into moving them up in the order. Just this evening, I wrote down some notes for a book that I don’t plan to start until the end of this year at the earliest, and last night, I pondered a series that I wouldn’t even be able to start until something like 2028 or later.
Part of the problem with scheduling my books so far out in advance is that I yearn to work on the ones that are years in the future, and by the time I get to them, I will yearn for ones decades away. Such is my lot. Burdened by ideas yet hemmed in by time. Perhaps that is the real reason that Surrealist feels so much like play and is so important to me. Time is a funny thing, as are consciousness and ideas.
I’ll leave you with this question, as it was one of the many drivers for Surrealist: If you lose your memory, are you still you or someone else entirely?
